Tuesday, July 17, 2007

the beloved #3/desire & longing

The last week or so I have been trying to find the spaces inside my body and dancing from the awareness of those spaces. Yesterday I realised I needed to let that go. Trust that those spaces would be there. Today I danced with the awareness of my senses - seeing, smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing - on the one hand, to be more fully in the present - in this room, in this configuration of dust, tape on floor, marks on mirrors, leaves on trees; on the other hand, to retrieve, from my own body, the memory of the beloved's - his smell, the feel of his skin, his hair.

I discovered the joy of dancing as the desired. Instead of always in longing. I danced with ease. The inflammation in my neck & shoulder disappeared.

A rare moment in which joy was NOT the source of all my pain...

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