Over lunch with Caroline Liffman the other day, we talked about the parts of ourselves we present, embrace and the parts we judge, hide. I said that I judge neurosis in people and had cultivated a persona for myself that was as far from that as was possible: calm, grounded, organised. But really, I can be completely neurotic. Caroline said she had no problem embracing her neurosis.
Well, I am trying out this neurotic thing.
So on Friday, after my 10th attempt at my knitting project started to unravel just as I almost got to the end, I hurled myself into a fit of anxiety about ridiculous things. Such as, how was I going to pack for two months in France in winter/spring and then a month in the equator in Malaysia, take my cameras, my computer, my hard-drive, my costumes, my props, my knives, my corkscrew, my wine glasses, my sword...AND travel light??? What if French people HATE my solo? What if I can't even make it through my solo (because suddenly, 70 minutes seems like an eternity), never mind perform it AND Body-Scan in the same night for a week. What MADNESS made me to agree to TWO world premieres in one week???
David rolled his eyes and told me to shut up.