Last night I dreamed I followed death
I was performing A Character, the solo that I performed for almost 15 years before retiring it in Yellowknife. This was a surefire solo - impossible not to love. In this dream, however, I had not rehearsed, and my hubris was being rewarded by the fact that I was completely bombing. I had no idea what I was saying. I was forgetting all my lines. I lost my shoes, tried on many different wrong pairs while the audience waited. I forgot all the right places for the wrong gestures and paint. The audience left in droves. There was a party afterwards but I hid in the dressing room, which was full of beds. I went into one to hide under the blanket.
Then I was on the bus, talking in French to the Tibetan techie to convince him that the piece is actually not as crappy as he thinks. It will be better tomorrow, je te promis. He wants to go away and take on a gig with a Filipino dance company.
(Him: what will you be doing in September, still planning on having a baby?
Me: what do you mean what do you mean? I am never going to have another baby!)
Then the Tibetan techie turned into a Tibetan woman who was taking me to eat a special Tibetan meal. The best one was further along, where they didn’t have too many onions.
I woke up as if from a nightmare. Then I realised that I was alive and life is good. I went to my computer to write down the dream and found a message that made me smile.