Yesterday I turned 44. I made a chocolate cake with coconut buttercream. I also made little finger sandwiches. A paean to my tropical post-colonial upbringing. I served this to my loved ones - old and new - and felt giddy with excitement.
But I am realising that while my heart can expand, the days and weeks cannot.
Last night as I lay curled up in the beloved's lap, relieved to be in the dark, quiet, happy to be enveloped in love, I also felt a tinge of sadness that there is not enough time and space to be with everyone. Goodbyes must be said and endured. Absences must be tolerated.